How we react to events in our life is, in my opinion, goes a long way in defining our character. Let me just give an example:
What would you do if within a one and a half year span, you were hit by cars on 5 separate occasions (all fender benders), none of which you were even moving in your vehicle? How would you react to say the 4th or 5th time? What would you say to the doltish individual that smacked your car for what appears to be no good reason at all.
Well here’s my take, and these are true events with some speculation injected just for sport. I’m going to skip to the 5th incident because…well it’s just easier that way.
Here I am on a lovely late Sunday morning. It’s late morning because anyone who knows me knows that I’m half vampire on my mother’s side, and I’m usually up very late. But I digress, as I am getting off point. So I really want a cappuccino from Circle K and my daughter really, really, really wants a glazed donut…so I’m off. As I arrive and STOP to wait for a spot, this car swims all the way over from the shallow end of the gene pool to hit the front of my car. It is sincerely hard to describe this event due to the implausible nature of how it happened. The reality of it is that he was just not paying attention at all. Probably engrossed in thoughts like “I wonder if my girlfriend broke up with me cuz I wouldn’t cut off the mullet? Well I don’t care what she says…I’m keepin’ it!” Or maybe “I wonder what I should get my sister for our 10 year anniversary?” Possibly even “Good thing I have some Pixie Dust because I’m just gonna fly right over this here little car” (audible) ….Oh sh*t!
I saw the whole thing in slow motion, just watched him drive straight at me, all the while thinking “surely he’ll stop….How can he not see me?” Maybe he was practicing brail driving, who’s really to know for sure?
We both get out of our vehicles and there’s always that dumbfounded look on their face like they have no idea what just happened, and in this case he actually asked me what happened. Here’s how the exchange went in my recollection.
Dummy: “What happened?” (he was thinking “what happened?”)
Me: “Well, I’m pretty sure you hit my car.” (I’m thinking what douche)
Dummy: “Well what should we do?” (He’s thinking “I wonder who invented salt and pepper?”)
Me: “Well we call the police and exchange information” (I’m thinking “aside from the fact that you hit my car, you’re face is also just bothering the sh*t out of me and I want to punch you square in the nose”) I think his little brain actually sensed this as he seemed to keep a safe distance from me. (Not that I am the least bit intimidating or confrontational)
Dummy: Oh, ok (He seemed to be completely thoughtless at this point, I actually envy that ability at times)
Me: You are aware that this was your fault….right? (I’m thinking if you say no, I may go against my better nature and lollop you upside the head.) But what would that solve?
Dummy: Um, I think it was nobody’s fault. (He’s thinking “I think I might get in trouble.”)
Me: “Are you serious? Did the cars just get mad at each other and smack into one another?” (That’s also the sarcasm I was thinking)
Dummy: “I don’t think so.” (He’s thinking “maybe?”)
Me: “I’m sorry, I clearly can’t have a conversation with you, I don’t speak f*cktard. (Again, same as I was thinking)
Dummy: “OK” (He’s thinking “what’s a f*cktard?”)
I will spare the dealings with the details and the police, but the point of this exchange (Okay maybe there isn’t one.) is that as annoying as the incident was, I knew I was going to make money from it just as I did the previous 4 times. It’s not hard to find someone who does body work for way less than what the insurance companies are willing and or required to give you for your loss. Ask the 50 inch flat screen HDTV on my wall. So am I unlucky? Hell no! I say hit me! I will surely turn the other fender.
